Deal breakers

Certain flaws, even if they don’t seem as such, prevent beautiful relationships from taking off.  These faults can even be the cause of a break-up.  Is your partner distancing themselves without you really understanding why? What are the behaviors that push people away, the faults that you should completely eliminate to finally experience a fulfilling relationship? Love Intelligence gives you below the list of the five major faults to avoid in love. 

Does Mr. Perfect exist?  Read the research for yourself in The Daily Mail

 

Avoid these at all costs!

These 5 harmful emotions are all related to the feeling of being in love – here they are:

 1°) Jealousy, or a couple’s poison

Jealousy is without a doubt the poison of a couple.  But contrary to popular belief, jealousy, which is set off by the feeling of being in love, is not linked to the love we have for our partner.  It’s a feeling of insecurity linked to the fear that one is not loved enough, which means that jealousy is caused by low self-esteem.   It’s therefore up to the jealous person to take charge in order to change things and to regain confidence in him or herself.  Jealousy is thus not proof of love, since it kills off relationships – so be wary of this false friend!  Loving someone is to love in total freedom, without the suffocating attachment that prevents them from living their life.   

2°) Being overprotective of the person we love

Being overprotective out of love doesn’t do anyone any favors, neither to our children nor to our other half.  Why? Because, without being aware of it, we make the person we love dependent on us, and because this isn’t a healthy rapport to have in a loving relationship.  Each person should maintain their independence so that the relationship is fulfilling for each person.  ‘Overprotectiveness’ is excessive attention given to a person we love. It’s important to try and understand where the desire to be overprotective comes from.  In general, overprotectiveness has a source: a painful past, a lack of affection, etc.  It’s up to you to correct this so that you don’t suffocate your partner!

3°) Dependence on your partner

Emotional dependence is also an enemy of relationships, since it’s not healthy to do everything together.  Both partners should have their own separate interests. The suffocation provoked by a situation of dependence leads, sooner or later, to a break up, or to a real stain on a beautiful relationship.  Being emotionally dependent on someone means being ready to do anything not to be confronted by the unbearable feeling of emptiness which occurs when the other distances him or herself.  In this way, it’s a problem of self-confidence and self-esteem. You have to learn how to do things without your partner. In other words, learn how to be alone and find your own sources of happiness without your other half.  

4°) The codependent relationship

When a relationship gets off to a quick start and when it’s passionate and mutually dependent, certain traps are to be avoided: being too on top of one another!  If they aren’t avoided, your relationship risks ending as quickly as it started!  Why? Because in love, you have to take your time!  Interdependence and passion are probable, but you need to know how to transform them.  Give it your best shot by letting your relationship breath, especially even though it’s against your character.

 

5°) Possessiveness or ‘getting someone’ at any cost

This is an excessive or neurotic behavior that consists of trying to ‘get’ someone.  The only remedy if you're possessive is to work on yourself.  Human relationships, and those with our loved ones in particular, can become a real nightmare when possessiveness becomes malignant. It’s all a question of quantity.  A weak sense of self-esteem can lead to this kind of behavior…to love someone, you must first love yourself.  You must know how to take care of yourself and stay independent, that’s important. 

 

 

 

Preconceived notions

"In order to love, you have to accept anything"

 

What you're saying

"In love, I make too many mistakes!"

 

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An Efficient Method by Florence Escaravage, the Queen of Love Coaching, February 2007
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