Why don't men hit on me?

A problem we encounter time and time again in Love Intelligence is women, often well put together and impressive, finding that they seem to intimidate men rather than attract them.

1.      Own your personality

This is the big one: own your own your personality. Prove to the world or to your partner that you’re not just a pretty face or professionally accomplished, but a strong, independent woman, capable of thinking and acting for herself. To help you to reach your objectives, Step 3 of the Method, How am I unique? could give you the answers you need. In reflecting on your strengths and assets, you will understand how to envisage your romantic encounters. Additionally personal fulfillment makes you attractive and interesting. Whether it’s sport, an artistic activity, professional training – take the time to always learn and grow.

2.      Communicate

For woman either dating or in a couple, it can’t be repeated enough: communicate! If you feel your partner or potential partner has their doubts about you, get a conversation going. Explain the sincerity of your intentions and feelings. Let him know that he is the only man in your life and that that no one else can ever interfere in your relationship. Take him to a party and show him the degree to which you are indifferent to other men. What’s essential here is to make sure you’re not coming across as cold or distant. Consider yourself from his male perspective.

3.      Choose the right guy

For single women, it is important that they are conscious of the deep personalities of the men they meet. In working towards valuing their interior, women will naturally attract men who see beyond physicality and pick up on their interior beauty, that is by the essence of her being. For more on picking the right men, check out What makes someone compatible?

4.      Find the right style

Try out different styles, trying to find the perfect medium between seduction and discretion. Sometimes certain items of clothing can give off the wrong signals. Find your own way of dressing that allows you to express who you really are deep down, and not the kind of person others consider you to be. Sometimes women’s magazines can lead us a bit astray, advising us on the latest style even though it mightn’t really suit us. Take a step back and ask yourself the question: what do I love to wear? You will see, in listening to your instinct, you will get positive results!

5.      Open yourself to others

Sometimes, without realizing it, some women end up being put on a pedestal that closes off certain people who don’t correspond with the image of what she is looking for. Others enjoy having men going all out to seduce them, and won’t accept anything less. But we must understand that to love is to let yourself be surprised by a personality. So you need to have a state of mind that is open and curious about the personality of the other. Maybe it is the man who refuses to give you such blind admiration who is made for you! You need a man who is interested in you for you – who isn’t afraid of you! Someone who will tease you about a new haircut but who always wants to know your opinion.

6.      Is he too shy to approach you?

Don’t forget that certain men are just too shy to come up to you. Beauty or success can scare men who think you’re out of their league. So don’t hesitate to give them a push. Sometimes a little signal is enough to get a conversation going (a pretty smile, a wink). Be clear – but don’t rush it. Show him your interest subtly and softly. If you're feeling playful, you should check out these 9 sneaky tips from Your Tango.

Good luck!


Preconceived notions

You need to be proactive and surround yourself with lots of chances to meeting eligable men

What you're thinking

I'm putting myself out there, but nothing is happening!

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The New York Times
A smart approach to love by Florence Escaravage
Psychologie Magazine
An Undercover Reporter Experiences Florence's Method First-Hand
ELLE magazine
An Efficient Method by Florence Escaravage, the Queen of Love Coaching, February 2007
Herald Tribune
How to Create Emotional and Intellectual Intimacy by Love Intelligence®

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