The first question that comes into our minds when we are getting ready to go somewhere special is the following: “How can I dress to hide my faults?” We’ve all done this – but what Florence shows us in this step is that, perhaps subconsciously, we do the same with our personalities – When we ask “What will I talk about to seem interesting?” we are really asking “What will I talk about to hide my personality flaws?”
Now we might think “What does it matter if it is really me, if I succeed in interesting the person I like?” But in this cute little manipulation there lies a much greater problem that we can’t wrap our heads around without completing the step: to seduce, above all else, is to create emotion. This can ONLY happen when we are COMPLETELY ourselves – otherwise, it’s like a cake that just doesn’t set! The essential ingredient is to reveal our true self – if we don’t do this, emotions just don’t arise. For sure, Florence would have to agree that putting your best foot forward as far as your appearance is concerned is a sensible thing to do, but to start disguising or altering your personality is a real seduction catastrophe! Step 3 helps us to dig up everything we have within in us that could reach out and touch the other
When you try to seduce someone you like by passing yourself off as someone else, it might work in the short term. But afterwards you might feel unsure that it really made an impact, or regret taking the chance to show your real self, so that a true connection could have started to take shape.
Deep inside, you don’t know what you are worth, what you can bring to your other half. You are either playing a character (when you want to seduce) which is too far from your beautiful inner truth, or you blending into the background… and none of this works!
Our self esteem has a massive effect on our relationships. Step 3 proposes that you discover what it is that is really unique about you and teaches you to reveal the essence of your charm so to move forward in your love life.
What I like about this step, it is that it helps us to grow in awareness of our own value and to wake up to the real treasures at the heart of our personality. It’s a fundamental step to cross when we look to seduce in the long term.
To impress a potential partner, you have to hide your flaws
I know no one's perfect – why can't I feel more at ease in social situations?