Does it exist?

Maybe you exchanged a hurried smile on the way to work, some casual small talk in line at Starbucks, perhaps a covert glance as you ordered lunch…you don’t even know the person, and suddenly you feel giddy, nervous, distracted…you feel in love.  The problem?  Your heartthrob has disappeared into the crowd, long gone, leaving you with no way to contact them.

 

See what Psychology Today has to say about the mystery of Love at First Sight

The power of the internet

Before the internet age, if you had the misfortune to find yourself head over heels for a perfect stranger you’ll never see again, there was nothing to do but pine for what could have been.  Nowadays, when every conceivable service is available online, you needn’t feel as if the one has slipped through your fingers.  Sites like missedconnections.com and oncloupé.fr (‘we missed each other’), are popping up everywhere to solve this very problem, free of charge.  After a heart-fluttering experience like those mentioned above, you can log onto the site and post a short description of your encounter for other users to see, in the hopes that the concerned party will also sign on, see your emotional flare-signal and respond in kind.  If all goes well, prince charming and his princess live happily ever after.

So our question is, does love at first sight really exist?  Can those initial feelings of attraction actually lead to anything meaningful, in the long-term?  In matters of the heart, we ask the eternal question: should you trust your gut, or your head?

‘Love at first sight’: friend or foe?

Sites like missedconnections touch a chord with people, and the Love Intelligence team, like everyone else, finds them a sweet idea.  There’s nothing wrong with wanting to see someone again once you’ve felt that first spark.  But, as always, we insist on the why aspect of the issue.  Why does a certain physique or a specific attitude attract us more than another?

 Florence explains that it has to do with our personal history.  Those flashes of desire arise when a trait we notice in others, even the most unassuming – a hairstyle, a tone of voice -  reminds us of the path we’re on in life, the way we see view the world, the personal experience we have.  Those moments of ‘love at first sight’ are really just flashes of insight, times when we feel deep down that the person opposite us is on a similar road – their persona resonates with ours.

How to make it last…

Experiences like these can be an excellent beginning to a long-lasting relationship, but Florence underlines that the chemistry of the first encounter is alone not enough to get us there.  Just as a talented painter must also practice to create great works of art, so, too, much a budding couple work to create a beautiful relationship.  The necessary phases are all explored and analyzed in the Love Intelligence method, for those of us who are off to a great start – and want to live the real ‘happily ever after' story.

Preconceived notions

"Love at first sight only exists in children's stories"

What you probably think

"I know it's silly, but I felt like I was hit by a bolt of lightning!"

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The New York Times
A smart approach to love by Florence Escaravage
Psychologie Magazine
An Undercover Reporter Experiences Florence's Method First-Hand
ELLE magazine
An Efficient Method by Florence Escaravage, the Queen of Love Coaching, February 2007
Herald Tribune
How to Create Emotional and Intellectual Intimacy by Love Intelligence®

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