Client's question : “I’m single and I can’t settle into a lasting relationship. I pour all my hopes into each budding relationship, but, early on, she breaks up with me or I grow disappointed and break up with her. This has been going on for too long. Being single is really wearing on me and I don’t know how to change my situation.”
Love is, above all, acceptance and a willingness to be surprised. 95% of the causes of being single are due to a kind of behavior where you start to observe the other person. As a result, the other person will only reveal 10% of themselves. You are too focused on judgment, self-control, and expectations. Love is magical, but the magic only works if all the ingredients are there. For one, it is important to let emotions flow between two beings.
Ask yourself whether you are truly accepting, without prejudice, of the other’s personality, whether you invite the other person (by asking questions, for example) to unleash their unique personality traits. Letting emotions flow means encouraging authentic discussions, where nothing in the relationship is at stake (when the stakes are high, we tend to tense up, causing the other person to do so as well).
Check out the 8 Reasons You Might Still Be Single from Psychology Today.
Just try to get to know the other’s personality a little more. You’ll build a bridge with the other person, which will leave your emotions free to express themselves. You’ll make yourself available to the other person, and vice versa. When others don’t appeal to you, or when you are unable to seduce someone over the long term, you are more responsible than you might think: you were unable to create the right way of being with the other person…
"Some people are just not made for love"
" Finding true love is too hard for me"