Are you too picky?

It’s true that having high expectations can sometimes be a good thing – it means that you won’t let any old person into your life.  But if you find yourself constantly single without really understanding why, your ‘Great Expectations’ might be at the heart of the problem.


Born from experience

Many of our ‘demands’ or expectations come in the wake of a breakup, when we reassess ourselves and decide what we do and don’t want in our future.  They are thus mostly born from experience.   For example, we might say we don’t want to live with someone messy or who can’t commit…

See what the doctors on WebMd have to say about expectations in love

Beliefs about love

Some of our expectations come from our education, even from our childhood.  Fairytales nourish the dream of a ‘knight in shining armor’- tall, strong and handsome.  These same stories also give rise to the ‘princess’ ideal – the sexy, seductive woman that somehow doesn’t attract the competation of other men, who remains simultaneously independent and available.  These ideas in turn influence the demands and expectations we have in our adult love lives.

Whatever form your expectations and demands take, they usually serve as protection against getting hurt.  We think that by being ‘picky’, we can avoid meeting the wrong kind of people…but is this really the best approach?

Working on unrealistic expectations, as well as avoiding these top 5 relationship flaws, is one of the best ways of getting your relationship off to a healthy start!


Preconceived notions

'Women dream of knights in shining armor, and men of princesses'

What you're saying

'I don't want to get hurt again'

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ELLE magazine
An Efficient Method by Florence Escaravage, the Queen of Love Coaching, February 2007
Herald Tribune
How to Create Emotional and Intellectual Intimacy by Love Intelligence®

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